Let’s face it.
We’ll never find the Perfect One.
How did we ever get that idea?
Oh yeah.. we’ve got so many options. We shouldn’t have to suffer in any relationship.
If this one doesn’t quite fit, leave and move on.
Perhaps he or she is just around the corner.
It’s diabolical if you ask me. This kind of thinking.
It’s a perspective that demands nothing of you. It’s self-centred and egotistical.
It’s also painful to come to this revelation. Because for the most of life, I have held on to this view.
I seek that chemistry, that connection. A construct derived from all the media that I’ve been exposed to. And the indulgence in the idea that I deserve someone to complete me. To make me feel like I’m the centre of the universe.
We talk about “settling” when we finally gave up finding the Perfect One. Or our Soulmate. Or the One. Whatever you call it, it’s all the same. We don’t like to admit that we’re seeking them out but sooner or later, our actions betrays us.
Perhaps the point is not about “settling”. The point is about commiting yourself to invest your life in loving another person. To lift them up. To accept them for their strengths and their flaws. To see them become who they were made to be.
I think when it starts to become less about ourselves, then the idea of settling would begin to sound really absurd.